


Cold little heart

by mdianesq



Category: Once Upon a Time RPF
Genre: F/F, bexana, madrilla - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-06 23:52:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11046933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mdianesq/pseuds/mdianesq
Summary: Lana finds out that Bex is not going to be in the next season of OUAT.During the filming of season 6b.A/N: This fic was named 'Only know you love her when you let her go', is the same one, I didn't delete anything. Sorry for the confusion.





	1. Chapter 1

Lana had just finished recording for the day. They still had a week or two of filming to do for season 6.

It had been exhausting to film this half season. Playing both Regina and the Evil Queen in the same scenes had been a challenge for her and she worked really hard to give the best she had.

Also, they were shooting a musical episode next week and she had to practice so many hours a day she had zero time for herself.

But for now, she was -until the day after tomorrow- almost free.

She went straight to her trailer to change and go home already. As soon as she opened the door she saw a very familiar redhead in her little kitchen. She was making tea, of course. Bex couldn't be more british.

"Hey, I'm so tired. I had so many scenes today!" the brunette said as she sat down in the kitchen chair.

She looked at the redhead and the first thing she noticed were tears coming down her face. She got up of her chair and went to her.

"Oh, Bex." she started saying as she hugged her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

The redhead was really sobing now. Lana sat with her in her bed and just hold her tight until she calmed down.

"I'm sorry, really. It's not a big deal. You should go home 'cause you're tired."

"Hey, hey. Talk to me." the brunette told her while holding her hand and looking right into her eyes.

"It's late and you were going home already."

"You're right. I'm tired. Too tired to drive. I'll stay here today."

"You don't have to do this for me, Lana."

"I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for me. But if you want to stay here with me I would really apreciate it." Lana told her with the brightest smile she could find in herself.

"I guess you will find out eventually anyway..."

"Bex, you're scaring me."

"They... They kicked me out... They said Zelena won't be in the next season. My contract has expired already so..."

"What?! No. That doesn't make any sense."

"It's okay. I overreacted. I knew someday this was going to happen. I just didn't expect it to be so soon..."

"Oh, Bex. I can't believe they would do this."

"It's okay. Really. I don't want to talk about it now."

"Stay here with me please. We won't talk about it, I promise."

"Okay..."

They hugged for a really long time. None of them was willing to let go of the other.

Lana knew that in a few weeks they will have to say goodbye and they will probably won't see each other again until con season. Bex had been her best friend for all these years, she had been her pillar.

"Do you want something to eat? I'm starving." the brunette asked her gently as she broke the hug.

"I'm not that hungry. I'll just finish my tea and go to sleep."

"Bex, I haven't seen you eat all day so we're having dinner. I have some frozen lasagna. I know you like it!"

"What would I do without you?" she said unconstiously as she realized _'What will I do without her...'_

"Bex. Look at me. You will always have me. Always." Lana said almost reading her mind.

The brunette leaned in and gave her two small kisses on the cheek.

"And now... Let's have a proper dinner. I have some good wine Sean gave me a few weeks ago and I haven't opened it yet. Today is a great ocassion. I don't have to shoot tomorrow so I can sleep in as much as I want."

"I'm free too so what the hell. Bring that bottle here."

* * *

 

They drank the whole bottle pretty fast and then they openned another bottle, a cheaper one now.

They laughed and talked about so much they almost forgot the rest of the world existed.

By the time they had finished with the dinner and the wine it was almost 1 am.

"Wow. It's late." Lana said as she looked at her watch.

"It's great that we don't have to wake up early tomoooorroow." Bex added really drunk.

"You look like Anna Nicole Smith drunk."

They were both laughing like the whole world was a joke.

"Well... You sound drunker than Anna Nicole Smith drunk."

"We should definetely go to sleep."

"What, are you scared of doing something you'll regret tomorrow?"

Bex asked that as a stupid question someone drunk would ask but it seemed like it had made Lana think about something.

"I never regret a thing. It would be stupid to do it. We are made from mistakes. They make us more ourselves."

"Okay Neruda, let's go to sleep."

They took forever to go from the kitchen to the bed and it was a few steps away. They really were drunk.

"I don't have my pyjamas here."

"Here. I hope this t-shirt works. I only have a pair of pyjamas here."

Lana gave her an old t-shirt with a Pepsi logo on it. Bex started laughing as soon as she saw it.

"Don't tell me you were Joan Crawford in another life!"

"I was always more of a Bette Davis kind of girl."

They changed right there. They were pretty clumsy, you can blame the alcohol for that.

Lana couldn't help but notice the redhead's curves when she undressed. She was beautiful. Her ginger curls falling gently on her perfect back. The brunette was almost hypnotized.

Pretty soon after that they finally got in bed. They were facing each other, just staring in the other one's eyes.

"You know..." Lana started saying as she got a bit closer to Bex. "Anna Nicole Smith was also pretty beautiful."

"You don't say."

Rebecca was lost in the brunette's eyes. Her head was moving towards Lana before she even realized it.

Soon enough their lips met. The kiss was shy at first but after a few seconds their tongues started discovering the other one's mouth. It had turned in something so passionate. Ironically, it felt like a breath of fresh air.

Sometime after that -they were too drunk to keep track of the time- their lips parted. As soon as that happened Bex was bitting her own lip looking at the brunette.

"Maybe tomorrow you'll regret something for the first time." she said half insecure half curious about how Lana felt about what had just happened.

"Don't talk about it like it was a mistake."

Just as she finished the sentence Bex kissed her. This time with even more passion.

They fell asleep in some moment while they were kissing. They gave in just like that, in each other's arms and so close they were almost one.

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I didn't update this sooner. With life and the other bexana fanfic I'm writing I've been pretty busy.  
> I hope you enjoy it.

Soon after 10 pm Bex woke up. She looked at the woman that was still sleeping very deeply next to her. She sighted and looked at her trying to find the answer to all the questions that were popping into her head. It was only 10 pm and she already didn’t know how to cope with any part of her life.

Just as she realized everything that had happened the previous night she looked for her clothes, changed and left in a hurry.

Maybe Lana didn’t know very much about regret but the redhead sure did. She had loved everything that had happened between them, but that wasn’t the point.

She was inevitably going to leave and it already hurt like hell the thought of leaving Lana without her best friend, just imagining what leaving her without a partner -or whatever they were supposed to become after this- would do to her was devastating for the redhead.

She loved Lana, there was not a doubt about that. Maybe she wasn’t there yet romantically speaking but she was the best friend she’s ever had after all.

With all the drama and wine she had forgotten about everything else. It was easy to do that with Lana sometimes, mostly because she makes you feel like you are her whole universe every time she talks to you. Every single time.

And maybe the brunette wouldn’t be expecting anything else. Maybe everything was some sort of one night stand for her.

Bex was definitely the queen of regrets. She wasn’t even home yet and she was already thinking that maybe she should have stayed and just dealt with whatever had happened.

But it was too late for that so she went back to her house and kept living her life.

* * *

 

Lana woke up around 11:30 pm. Her head was hurting a lot and the hungover was very present. They had had a lot of wine and maybe her 25-year-old self would have dealt with that way better but these days she wasn’t such a party girl.

She took a glass of water with an aspirin and checked her phone.

A few texts from her manager and Sean asking her to get a coffee sometime. So, business as usual.

Ever since Sean had left the show he was trying too hard to keep in touch with everyone and she loved that, but sometimes it was hard to have a social life with such a demanding job.

That made her remember about Bex. The redhead had told her that she was leaving the show too. They had laugh a lot and that was as much as she could remember. When had Rebecca left? She tried as hard as she could but she didn’t have more memories of that night and the ones she did have were very blurry.

She decided to check on the redhead to see how she was doing. She handled hangovers way better than her but they were still 40-year-old human beings after all.

She called her and after the third ring the other woman picked up.

“Hi…” Bex said not too confident.

“We should stop drinking like this. I have a huge hangover and I don’t even remember half of the night. Please tell me there was no dancing involved.”

The redhead left out a deep breath but not loudly enough for Lana to heard in on the other line.

“No… We went to bed not too late.”

“I bet you’re just trying not to embarrass me too much. By the way, how did you get to your house so late?” Lana asked curious.

Bex thought about lying to her for a second. It would save her a few explanations. But she was so stupid she had forgotten to leave the pepsi t-shirt in the trailer so she would have to explain somehow how she had that t-shirt if she told a lie.

“I didn’t. I slept there with you and took the car in the morning. I’m sorry I left without saying anything but you were sleeping so profoundly I didn’t want to wake you.” The redhead said trying to make it sound as believable as she could.

“Oh. I see.” Lana said a bit intrigued because she knew something was off. She continued speaking anyways. “You’re free this afternoon, right? I was thinking we could go for a coffee with Sean if you feel like it. I haven’t seen him in forever with these schedules and I miss him.”

Rebecca didn’t know what to say. Apparently, the brunette didn’t remember what had happened between the two of them the night before, but she was very aware of it and she didn’t want to ruin all of this because of a stupid kiss.

But not seeing her best friends when she knew that she wouldn’t be able to spend that much time with them when the season’s over was also stupid and something she could still do right so she accepted the offer.

“Umm, yeah. That sounds great. Text me the time and place and I’ll be there. I gonna take a nap and an aspirin.” She tried to joke to make everything more normal.

“Sure. I’ll see you later then. Love ya.” Lana said casually.

If she knew what those words had meant for the redhead.

* * *

 

A little after five they saw each other again ever since that kiss.

They had some coffee with Sean and she told him the news too. He was very sympathetic because he had been in a very similar situation too.

 “Don’t worry Bex. You’ll be back from time to time. Just because you’re not a regular anymore doesn’t mean you won’t have any scenes next season. At least you’re not dead.” He said gently.

“Yeah… You’re right. Sorry.” Bex didn’t want to push it. She loved her friend but he was still a bit bitter with the circumstances around his leaving.

They made some small talk and that was it.

Lana was acting like she always had. All nice and caring but in such a sisterly way Bex was resenting her a bit for not remembering anything even though that made everything so much easier.

They said goodbye to Sean and the two ladies walked together in silence for a while.

“Bex. You know everything between us we’ll still be the same even if you leave, right?” Lana asked her concerned.

“I know…” The redhead said resigned.

Precisely that was the problem, that the brunette wanted their relationship to be exactly the same.

She was biting her lip before even realizing it and she sighted. Maybe if they would have done things a little bit differently… No, that was _never_ going to happen. At least not again.

God, she really was the queen of regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think. Kudos and comments are really apreciated.  
> 


	3. Chapter 3

The next day they had a long day on set. Bex’s alarm clock took off at 6 am. It was too early for anyone, but for the redhead I was like dead. She was most definitely not a morning person.

But she wanted to focus on something that was not Lana so she got out of bed and kept herself occupied. She took a shower and got ready. She was re-reading the scenes she had to shoot that day. Two entire scenes with the brunette. Well, it could have been worse, she thought and she immediately hated herself for it.

Lana was her best friend. She was her favorite person on set and probably in the whole world. Soon she would be leaving and she should use the time they had left together.

Of course it hurt like hell thinking that she could never kiss those lips again. She may have wanted that before anything happen and it was okay because everything was still platonic. But now that she knew what she could have it was just painful.

She tried to burry those thoughts and she took her keys and left her apartment.

She needed a coffee to be able to deal with anything so she stopped at the Starbucks near the set.

She was in a crappy mood and the man that took the orders spelled her name wrong. She was sitting on a small table looking at her coffee when she heard a voice behind her.

“How can someone spell Rebecca wrong?”

She recognized that voice immediately.

“I wonder the same thing.” The redhead answered her as she looked at the name written on her cup of coffee ‘Rebekah’.

She took a sip of her coffee and took a silent deep breath. She wasn’t expecting to find the brunette there so she wasn’t ready to deal with her at all.

Lana sat down in front of her with her own cup of coffee in her hands.

“Are you excited to shoot today? We have a big scene with a lot of people!”

“Yeah! You have a big day right?”

“Indeed. I’m playing the Evil Queen again. She’s in the Enchanted Forest.” She said excited.

“Oh, we should get going. We have a scene to shoot.” Bex said as she noticed the hour.

“Bex, wait.” Lana told her while grabbing her arm when the redhead stood up. “Are you okay? You seem distant these days. I understand it must be hard thinking about leaving this. I can’t imagine the mess I’ll be when I’ll have to let go of Regina. But don’t shut me out. You can talk to me about anything, you know that.” She told her softly.

Maybe Lana had a way with words or maybe Bex was just too lost in her feelings for her but it made her feel so loved even if she hadn’t even got the reason for her actions right.

But now all the redhead could think about was Lana’s hand on hers, the warmth of her touch and two expressive eyes analyzing her not very discreetly.

“It’s okay, really. I’m sorry if I acted weird or something. I’m just not resting very well these day. But I appreciate your concern, really. Now c’mon, we’re gonna be late.” Bex told her trying to put a sincere smile on her face.

For a second she had the feeling that Lana was staring at her lips. _Keep it together Rebecca, it’s your imagination… Right?_

She got up and they were leaving to their respective cars when Lana planted a kiss on the redhead’s cheek. It was small and fast but enough for her to feel so much it was overwhelming.

“I’ll see you in 5! Bye!” The brunette told her after separating her lips from Bex’s cheek.

“B… Bye.” She answered still shocked by her own feelings towards the other woman.

But again, she tried her best to keep it together and headed straight to her car.

* * *

 

At 7.30 am they had their first scene of the day. It wasn’t anything too demanding so it went great. Lana was as professional as always and Bex did her best.

She loved Zelena. It was by far her favorite character among the ones she had played over the years her career had lasted. She was so unapologetically herself Bex wished she could resemble more her character.

It was not just about telling Lana the truth, I was also everything else around it. She had known she was a lesbian since her high school years. She had come out to a few people in the past but when she became more famous she renounced a bit to that part of her life. She dated a few women but she never had anything serious, mostly because she never left anything strong enough for her to want to invest her energy in a relationship.

But now she felt such a strong connection with Lana she couldn’t even explain it. She had tried to keep it platonic because she always thought the brunette wasn’t into women. But she was the one that started the kiss after all. She must feel something too, even if it’s just attraction. For now Bex had to focus on other things. Besides, Lana never expressed her feelings for the redhead in any way, _right?_

Bex was relieved when she noticed she didn’t have more scenes with Lana until that afternoon.

She was about to go to some rehearsals for the musical episode when Josh came to her.

“Hey! How’s it going?” Josh asked her nicely.

“Great! I haven’t gotten to the tough part yet.”

“You have rehearsals, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I have to go back to shoot some scenes. I was just going to ask you if you want to come to lunch with us. We are a bit sad that this is ending for us soon so we wanted to spend more time with you guys.”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll see you around… 1 pm?”

“Great! Ginny and I don’t have that much work to do today so maybe we’ll go before that but Lana knows the address of the restaurant we want to go so you two can come together!”

“Yeah… Okay… See you later!” Bex told him as he was leaving.

* * *

 

It was lunch time already and Lana was waiting for her in the parking lot. ‘The Charmings’ were already at the restaurant so the brunette had texted her to go there together.

“Hey! If you want we can go in my car. We have to get back anyway so you can leave yours here. It will be easier that way.”

“Uhm… Okay.”

“So, how was your day?” Lana asked her while they were driving towards the restaurant.

“Great! The rehearsals are turning out good so I’m excited to shoot the musical already. How was your?”

“A bit exhausting. I had an argument with Adam and Eddy. We had this scene with Jen and like we didn’t stick to the script 100% but we did what felt right for the situation and they didn’t like it very much.” She said disappointed.

“Is this about swan queen?”

“Yeah. They are so obsessed with separating Emma and Regina they are actually destroying their friendship. I don’t know why they think having LGBTQ fans is such a bad thing.”

They were already at their destinations so they got out of the car.

“I think representation in television is really important. I bet it would make so many people feel so much better about who they are if they saw regularly on TV more variety. I have no idea what’s wrong with Adam and Eddy with that topic. I know you are okay with them but I get so pissed ugh.”

“Because you are a great person and you can relate with people very well. It’s okay, I know they are not the wisest people sometimes but I can understand where they’re coming from… Sadly.”

Bex was laughing inside. _Of course I relate to them, I am them._

* * *

 

The two women met Ginny and Josh inside. The restaurant looked good, none of them had eat there before and it seemed great.

Ginny and Josh were the best people at small talk so almost the whole meal was based on that.

But, surprisingly, when they were almost finished Ginny brought up an unexpected topic.

“So, Lana. Are you seeing anyone?” She asked her carefully.

“Uhm… No… I barely have the time for a personal life with this job.” She said laughing.

“Well. This friend of ours, who’s very handsome by the way, is also single and it would be a perfect match for you I swear!” Ginny told her excited.

“I don’t know. Like I said. I don’t have that much time really…” She said not very convinced.

“He lives near here and his job is not very demanding. It’s like a perfect match. You should give him an opportunity.”

Lana looked at Bex for a second and then answered.

“I’ll think about it…”

They finished lunch soon enough and Bex and Lana went back to set together. Both of them were awfully quiet.

When they were back on set Lana broke the silence.

“I’ll see you later, right? We have that scene with everybody. I have to go become the Evil Queen…”

“Yeah, me too. Become Zelena I mean.” She said awkwardly.

“I figured.” The brunette said smirking.

They said goodbye and they went in opposite directions.

* * *

 

After a few hours everybody was ready and they started shooting. It was a scene with almost all the characters of the enchanted forest reunited in a room with doors to all the realms.

Zelena and Regina interacted so Lana and herself were pretty close during the shooting.

Everything was going great -normal- until they were about to finish shooting. The scene was very emotional because the enchanted forest was disappearing with all the other realms.

Of course Regina and Zelena were both emotional, of course they were close, they were sisters after all. But there was a moment they were so close Bex couldn’t help but think they were about to kiss and her heart almost stopped.

But that was stupid, right? Lana was too professional to lose herself in other things while doing her job. And she wasn’t going to kiss her… _right?_ Lately with Lana she was just too confused. Is not like Lana wasn’t the one that started their kiss before, and she never regretted it either, she wanted it too. But now she didn’t remember any of that. And she was even thinking about dating some dude.

Bex’s brain was killing her. She didn’t know what to think anymore. As soon as the director said ‘Cut’ she broke eye contact with the brunette and basically run out of there without even saying goodbye.

Lana noticed it but didn’t say anything.

They didn’t see each other much that day until they were leaving back home.

Lana saw the redhead in the parking lot and walked faster to catch her.

“Hey! I barely saw you this afternoon. How was everything?”

“Uhm. Good.”

“You’re going home already, right?” Lana already knew the answer -they were in the parking lot- but she was trying to make conversation.

“Yeah… Same for you, right?”

Lana nodded.

“So, what do you think I should do?” The brunette asked her softly with some kind of expectation that Bex couldn’t figure out just yet.

“Huh?”

“About this Fred guy. You haven’t said anything yet.”

“So you’re thinking about dating him?” Bex asked carefully.

“I don’t know, should I? I mean, he lives here and it would be easy.”

“Do you want that and you’re glad it’s easy or do you want it ‘cause it’s easy?”

“I don’t know Bex. Sometimes I think it would be good for me to have someone… It’s great being alone but I guess I’d like to try something new.”

“Jesus Lana. Clear your mind and then do whatever you want. But you just don’t even know him. Just because the perfect married couple here think he’s great it doesn’t mean he’s right for you.”

“Hey, relax. Why do you care so much? It’s just a date. Is not like I’m gonna marry the guy.”

“You still don’t get do you?” Bex told her gently but with so much pain in her voice Lana was astonished.

Lana was about to say something but the redhead almost run off out of there.

_Of course I get it, you idiot._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been 84 years... I know. But I'm finally free (-ish) so I'm gonna post regularly. 4 times a week: Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. I don't know how long it will be but I know where I'm taking this story so don't worry, I'll end it.  
> And please guys, leave comments and tell me what you think, it means a lot.  
> You can also find me on CC: @xSqReginax, and my Twitter is the same.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it goes, a chapter from Lana's point of view.

_April 2015, set of Once Upon a Time. Last day of shooting of season 4._

Lana had just finished shooting the last scene of the season. It had been very intense and emotional but she was happy with the result.

Emma sacrificed herself for Regina and she was about to become the Dark One. Next season would be interesting to film and she was excited for it.

She was about to go back to her trailer to change when she saw Rebecca with her dog Bella taking a walk near there.

She doubted for a second but then decided to go say hi.

They knew each other and they were friends but this was only Rebecca’s second year in Once Upon a Time and they didn’t see each other that much because her character was still recurring. But there was still something about her that draw Lana. She was so interesting and funny the brunette wanted to know more about her.

It was nighttime already so it was a bit dark. The only thing illuminating the place was the moonlight.

“Hey. You’re done filming too, right?” Lana asked the redhead.

“Yeah! I was just taking Bella for a walk because the night is beautiful today.” Bex said looking at the stars.

Lana should have been looking at the starts too but, instead, she was looking at the blue-eyed woman standing in front of her.

Seeing the light of the moon reflect on her skin was beautiful, maybe even she was beautiful. Lana was almost hypnotized.

She didn’t know if it was the adrenaline or the effect of the full moon but she broke the silence once more.

“I should go, I have to wake up early tomorrow! But… Uhm… If you want to get a cup of coffee sometime with me… I heard you’re going to be regular next season, right?”

She was a bit nervous, she was aware of the implications of her request although maybe the redhead wasn’t. Still, she tried. For now it was as far as she could go. Asking her for a coffee.

“Yeah, more Zelena in my life! And about that cup of coffee… I’d love to! Call me anytime!” Bex said with a huge smile on her face.

Lana went back to her trailer with a smile just as big. She couldn’t finish to make up the words to describe what she was feeling, but it was definitely something new.

She took out her phone and dialed Bex’s number. After the first ring the other woman answered.

“How about tomorrow?” The brunette told her excited.

And that was the beginning of a friendship that was still growing stronger two years later, and maybe of something else too…

* * *

 

_May 2016, set of Once Upon a Time. Two weeks before finishing filming season 6._

Lana went into her trailer after finishing shooting for the day to find Bex in there.

When she realized she was crying and after the redhead told her the whole story her heart was breaking. She tried her best to pretend she was fine because the other woman had a lot on her plate already, but the thought of losing her was killing the brunette slowly.

She may have never acknowledged her feelings for Rebecca but they were still there, after all that time. And, after all, she was her best friend.

So, she tried to hold back her tears and did her best to be there for her friend.

Everything was going great-ish until she gave the redhead two kisses on the cheek even before realizing it.

It was an innocent action but it triggered a lot of feeling inside her. She decided that alcohol was the best option to drawn those thoughts so she offered Bex wine. There’s nothing alcohol can’t fix, right?

 

After a few bottles of wine they were very drunk and saying stupid things but Lana was mostly impressed by Bex. Nothing in particular, just Bex. Maybe it was the alcohol but she couldn’t think about anything else.

"We should definitely go to sleep." Lana said when she realized where her mind was going.

"What, are you scared of doing something you'll regret tomorrow?"

Her heart almost stopped when she heard those words. She knew Bex couldn’t read her mind but for a second she had to think about it twice. She was definitely scared of what she could do, but not because she would regret it, but because she was really afraid of unrequired love. She didn’t even know if Rebecca liked women, she sure was okay with homosexuality but they never talked about their sexuality.

Although she didn’t remember the redhead talking about men, ever.

She realized she was talking forever to answer so she didn’t delay it more.

"I never regret a thing. It would be stupid to do it. We are made from mistakes. They make us more ourselves." She said just before nodding to herself, it was a good answer, she wasn’t giving away too much.

Soon enough they were already about to sleep. It was for the best. But then Bex had to change right there and Lana couldn’t keep her eyes off her. She was biting her lip so hard it was starting to hurt.

Everything about the redhead was so hypnotizing.

Pretty soon after that they finally got in bed. They were facing each other, just staring in the other one's eyes.

"You know..." Lana started saying as she got a bit closer to Bex. "Anna Nicole Smith was also pretty beautiful."

Even though she had shorted a lot the distance between them she made sure to not start anything unless the other woman seemed to want that as well.

"You don't say."

Bex voice was almost a whisper but nothing more was needed when they were so close. Bex leaned in but Lana started the kiss.

It was slow at first and a bit shy because the brunette’s eyes were still searching for consent, she wanted to do this right. But at the same time she was overwhelmed with feelings. She didn’t know how much she needed this until now, and she was scared to have to let it go.

Soon enough Rebecca’s tongue started discovering Lana’s mouth and the brunette didn’t have any doubts so everything became more passionate.

She didn’t know what she lost first that night, if track of time or fear. Too bad she also lost those memories…

 

* * *

 

_May 2016, Starbucks near the set._

Lana went to get some coffee before heading to set because she didn’t have the best night’s sleep.

Just after picking up her order she saw a very familiar redhead siting on a table.

She took a deep breath and headed towards her.

“How can someone spell Rebecca wrong?” She said as casually as she could.

After some small talk she decided to express her worries. Bex seemed… different. She thought it must be the leaving the show thing. She couldn’t handle seeing her like that.

“Bex, wait.” Lana told her while grabbing her arm when the redhead stood up. “Are you okay? You seem distant these days. I understand it must be hard thinking about leaving this. I can’t imagine the mess I’ll be when I’ll have to let go of Regina. But don’t shut me out. You can talk to me about anything, you know that.” She told her softly.

“It’s okay, really. I’m sorry if I acted weird or something. I’m just not resting very well these day. But I appreciate your concern, really. Now c’mon, we’re gonna be late.” Bex told her trying to put a sincere smile on her face.

Lana was half relieved half wondering how much was that the truth but she was seeing a smile on her friend’s face and that was enough for now, she didn’t want to push it more.

For some reason she decided a quick kiss on the cheek was a good idea so that’s what she did. Almost like she couldn’t have anticipated what the feeling of the redhead’s skin against her lips was going to do to her.

 “I’ll see you in 5! Bye!” The brunette told her after separating her lips from Bex’s cheek.

She was gone before Bex couldn’t even react.

* * *

 

_Later that day, a restaurant near the set. Having lunch with Ginny and Josh._

Everything was going great until Ginny decided Lana’s love life was a nice topic. The married woman was insisting her on seeing some guy she had never even heard about and all she could think about was the redhead sitting next to her.

“He lives near here and his job is not very demanding. It’s like a perfect match. You should give him an opportunity.”

Lana looked at Bex for a second. She tried to figure out what her expressions meant. She hadn’t said a word about any of this and the brunette didn’t know what to think about that. Somehow she was still waiting for her to say something and rescue her from this. But no words came out of the redhead’s mouth.

“I’ll think about it…” She said trying to hide her disappointment.

The awkward silence that filled their interactions after that was too much for Lana to handle.

When they were back on set she still had some time left but she lied about it and said goodbye to Bex, she couldn’t be around her right now.

* * *

 

_A few hours later, the set of Once Upon a Time. Shooting the last scene of the day._

They were about to finish filming and everything was going great. But then Bex was way too close to her and she was losing it. She usually never got out of character but for a moment she thought she wasn’t going to be able to control herself.

Also for a moment she thought her feelings were corresponded and the redhead was also leaning in… But that couldn’t be… _right?_

And then, as soon as the scene ended the other woman just left without even saying goodbye.

* * *

 

_Soon after that, the set’s parking lot._

“Hey! I barely saw you this afternoon. How was everything?” Lana told her casually.

“Uhm. Good.”

“You’re going home already, right?” Lana already knew the answer -they were in the parking lot- but she was trying to make conversation.

“Yeah… Same for you, right?”

Lana nodded.

“So, what do you think I should do?” The brunette asked her softly.

Maybe it was weird and out of place but Lana _needed_ to know. She had never felt so insecure about something and now here she was, trying to figure out an entire human being’s actions because it was killing her not knowing.

“Huh?”

“About this Fred guy. You haven’t said anything yet.”

“So you’re thinking about dating him?” Bex asked carefully.

“I don’t know, should I? I mean, he lives here and it would be easy.”

At least easier than resolving this whatever thing was going on between them.

“Do you want that and you’re glad it’s easy or do you want it ‘cause it’s easy?”

“I don’t know Bex. Sometimes I think it would be good for me to have someone… It’s great being alone but I guess I’d like to try something new.”

Lana was almost losing her patience, she didn’t know if the redhead’s reaction was what she wanted or not.

“Jesus Lana. Clear your mind and then do whatever you want. But you just don’t even know him. Just because the perfect married couple here think he’s great it doesn’t mean he’s right for you.”

“Hey, relax. Why do you care so much? It’s just a date. Is not like I’m gonna marry the guy.”

“You still don’t get do you?” Bex told her gently but with so much pain in her voice Lana was astonished.

Lana was about to say something but the redhead almost run off out of there.

 _“Of course I get it, you idiot.”_ Lana thought as soon as Rebecca’s words left her mouth but she couldn’t make up the words before the other woman left.

She got into her own car and stood there.

Before she could realize it tears where falling down her cheeks. She had hurt Bex and possibly ruined something even before it started.

She had tried her best to not destroy their relationship yet still she had done exactly that.

 _“How can you miss so much something you never had in the first place?”_ She thought as another tear fell down her cheek.

She cleaned the tears from her face and took out a piece of paper from her pocket.

She starred at it for a few moments before taking a deep breath and turning on her phone.

She didn’t want to hurt Bex even more, she didn’t deserve it, she didn’t deserve her.

So she dialed the number written on that piece of paper and just after two rings the person on the other line picked up.

“Hi. Are you Fred? I’m Lana… Ginny’s friend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for that, really. Next chapter on Friday.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There's hetero interaction in this chapter. It may be triggering for some. Sorry for the inconveniences.

After their encounter in the parking lot they didn’t see each other much for almost a week. They were clearly avoiding each other and the show was making it really easy for them. They had separated rehearsals and scenes and the weekend was there before they even realized it.

That week Bex had seen Lana on the set a few times but she tried her best not to even interact with her.

Not a text, not a phone call, not a single word. They were pretended the other one didn’t even exist.

Since Lana’s first phone call with Alfredo they started talking more. The man asked her out on a date and she said yes.

She was clearly not too excited for that date but she had agreed to it so now she was looking at herself in the mirror while putting some lipstick on thinking about what she could have had.

Maybe all of this was the worst idea she had had in her entire life. What was she thinking? Is not like some random guy was going to make her forget about a particular redhead that was constantly on her mind.

She took a deep breath and finished her make up.

He was going to pick her up at 8 pm and it was already 8:15 pm and he wasn’t there yet.

She hated it when people weren’t on time. And it was a date. Basically, a blind date, because she had never meet the guy. Ginny told her about him a bit but she was very vague. She said he was tall and handsome but so many different people could fit into that description…

Lana tried to calm down and make herself believe that all of this was for the best. She was so lost in her own thoughts she barely heard the door.

When she opened it, she saw a tall man standing there. Maybe handsome for some. So, that must be Fred, she assumed.

He had a bucket of roses in his hand.

“Hey! I’m Fred!” he said excited.

At least more excited than she was.

“Hi…” she said with a fake smile on her face -one that not many could identify-.

“These are for you.” He said as he handed her the roses.

“I’m gonna go put them in water. I’ll be right back.” She told him before closing the door on his face as he was about to add something.

She was getting anxious. She threw the roses on the kitchen counter and took a few deep breaths trying to calm herself down.

She didn’t know what part of this was more stupid. If going on a date with someone she didn’t even know that probably run away from the 19th century or the real reason she was doing it.

She put her shit together and opened the door again. Fred was still standing there. With the same smile on his face.

 _‘It can’t be that bad, right?_ ’ She tried to tell herself.

* * *

 

They went to a nice restaurant Alfredo had picked. It wasn’t that bad. The food was great and the place beautiful.

If only the date was half as good…

He kept bringing up stupid topics nobody with a bit of personality would be interested in keeping up with.

By the time the dessert arrived even he could see how bored she was.

He leaned in to touch her hand but he threw her glass of wine instead. Now the brunette was a bit wet and smelling like expensive wine.

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I didn’t see the glass of wine!”

“It’s… It’s okay. Just… Can we go? I need some air.” She said trying to hide how annoyed she really was, but nobody is that good of an actress.

“I’ll pay and we can go.” He said casually.

“Uhm… I’ll rather split it.” She said as she was taking her wallet.

“No! I’m a gentleman after all, or I try to be. And I was the one that ruined your dinner after all!”

She wasn’t in the mood to fight so she let it be. She hated when men payed for everything. It was okay to get someone a gift from time to time, but acting like a “gentleman” was not something she liked in someone.

Men use to think that just because you invite someone to lunch or dinner you are guaranteed more, and that’s not how consent works.

Five minutes later they were already out of there. Lana’s dress had dried a bit and it was white wine after all, so there were no stains.

After a while in silence Fred suggested to sit down in a bench nearby.

“Look… I want to apologize…” He started saying just after they sat down.

“It’s okay. I hadn’t been on a date for as long as I can remember…” She said gently.

“I really like you Lana…” He said and she moved uncomfortably on her sit ‘ _More like the idea of me…’_ She thought before he continued. “And I wanted this to be better but everything went wrong today… But hopefully it’s not too late to fix it…” He said before leaning in.

Before she could realize it his lips were already on hers. She didn’t move or backed away but she wasn’t putting much into the kiss either.

Soon enough it had finished and before she knew it he had said goodbye and she was already back home.

It wasn’t the worst kiss she had ever had but she didn’t feel anything. Anything at all. How could someone make her tremble with just a look and then other people couldn’t even make her feel a thing with a kiss?

She was disappointed but it was not that unexpected. She knew that being with someone to forget another didn’t work but she still had to try.

She didn’t want to hurt Bex or ruin their relationship and she did both. They weren’t talking and it was probably her own fault.

Fred texted her again that night. He was expecting a second date. _Of course he was._

Lana knew that she should tell him that she’s not interested in dating or something like that but she just couldn’t do it. So she agreed to a second date.

And a third after that one. Before she realized it they were dating regularly. It wasn’t that bad. More accurately, it was _easy._ He didn’t want much. They hadn’t even done more than kissing.

Although Ginny was even more excited than she was. She was constantly talking about how great a match they made and she kept insisting on bringing him to set.

Is not that Lana didn’t want to, but she was scared that Bex may see him and how she’ll react to seeing them together. More than a week had passed and she still got no word from the redhead.

She decided it was stupid to keep thinking about her like that. Maybe Bex was already over her, and she was not made of glass anyway. So she decided to take Alfredo to set the next day.

* * *

 

Bex had just finished shooting for the day and she was heading towards her trailer when she saw Ginny.

She wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone but the brunette had already spotted her and was coming her way so she had to.

They made small talk for a few minutes until Ginny brought up a topic. _The_ topic no less.

“Are you filming tomorrow?? Lana is bringing Fred to set so we could all go have lunch together! It will be nice to see them together don’t you think?” She said excited.

Rebecca almost froze right there. She had avoided the brunette for more than a week now. She knew the other woman hadn’t stopped her life because of her, but she wasn’t expecting her to be dating already. And less a random guy she didn’t even know.

But, she had to keep it together in front of Ginny so she made up an excuse to not have lunch with them and just went to her trailer.

As soon as the door closed behind her she broke down. It was too much for her. If only she had told the brunette what had happened that night… Maybe it would have changed something… Or maybe not. Bex was leaving after all, in the best case scenario they would barely see each other after the summer because Lana would be starting season 7 while the redhead could be anywhere doing anything.

So she cleaned her tears and took a deep breath. She couldn’t keep doing this to herself. She couldn’t spend the afternoon crying for someone she knew she couldn’t have. And, most importantly, she couldn’t ruin the best friendship she ever had for whatever this was.

For the sake or her mental health, she decided she was going to try to talk to Lana. They had never spent so much time apart and not talking.

The next day she was going to talk to her as soon as possible.

* * *

 

That day Lana only had some scenes to film during the afternoon so Fred and she went to set during lunch time. They were going to meet Ginny and Josh on set and then go to the restaurant together.

While they were waiting Fred surprised her with a long kiss. He was holding her by her waist and kissing her like they were some crazy teenagers.

She was a bit uncomfortable with showing that much affection on set but she smiled when they broke the kiss anyway and kept waiting for _The Charmings._

Fortunately for her, they came very soon after that.

 

* * *

 

Bex was determined to talk to the brunette that day. She knew her schedule so she planned on talking to her at lunch until she remembered she was probably out with Josh and Ginny and _that guy._

She decided to wait until the afternoon, it was one a few more hours, nothing she couldn’t handle.

But something she may not handle that well was almost in front of her. She was heading towards her trailer to have lunch when she saw a very familiar brunette in the distance. Just she wasn’t alone… And she was a bit occupied kissing a tall guy that was almost touching her ass.

Her heart broke a bit seeing that and it finished breaking when she saw the smile on Lana’s face when they stopped kissing.

She really wasn’t ready for that and it hurt like hell, but she was happy for the other woman.

She _seemed_ happy.

She went back to her trailer to eat something and while doing so she texted the brunette.

“Can we talk? I don’t want us to be mad at each other forever. I miss you.”

She took a deep breath and clicked ‘send’. She didn’t want to lose her even as a friend so she had to suck it up and be happy that Lana was living the life she wanted, even if that didn’t include her.

* * *

 

They were going to meet at 6 pm in Lana’s trailer. Bex was already there because she didn’t have much shooting to do.

She was a bit anxious waiting for the other woman. They hadn’t talk at all, just agreed to meet at that time there.

She still didn’t know for sure what to say. She just knew she didn’t want to feel like this all the time. Like she was wasting the time she had left with them because of something she could barely name.

While she was lost on her own thoughts the door opened. Lana stopped as soon as she saw her -she was probably not expecting to find her there already-.

They looked at each other for what felt like centuries and the silence was so intense the brunette could hear Bex swallow.

“I’m….”

“I just…”

They started talking at the same time and when they realized it they stopped. Bex had a small smile on her face. But it was almost sad.

“I’m sorry. I acted like an asshole and then I avoided you I… I’m sorry Lana. I really am. I don’t know what I did that…”

And Lana _almost_ bought it. But she knew she was lying too, pretending like she wanted them to be just friends, pretending she was happy, pretending this was nothing… So, she let it be.

“You don’t have to apologize. I wasn’t much better… I could have called you or something and I didn’t.” She paused for a second and took a deep breath. “I don’t want us to be like this. You are my best friend and soon everything will be a mess and I don’t want to waste our time fighting for _stupid things_ … I missed you too.” The brunette said with watery eyes.

Bex was about to say something but decided actions were better so she went straight to the other woman and hugged her.

Lana was not expecting it so it took her a second to react. When she felt the embrace, she relaxed into the other woman’s arms and laid her head on her shoulder.

They hugged for as much as they needed. Bex really missed the familiar smell of a very particular floral perfume the brunette loved.

When they were done catching up with the feeling of the other one’s body next to them they broke the hug.

“C’mon, let’s get something to eat.” The redhead said with as much confidence as she could gather.

She knew this wouldn’t be easy but it was worth it, and she loved challenges anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, more on Sunday. I love reading comments and kudos are reaaally apreciated so please XOXO


	6. Chapter 6

The filming of season 6 had ended successfully. They shot the musical, the last scenes they had left and, before they couldn’t even realize it, the set was closed and they were all saying goodbye.

It was sad to leave those that had been their best friends for the last couple of years. Ginny, Josh, Jen, Emilie… They were all leaving. But Lana couldn’t pretend that the loss she was hurt the most about was Bex.

They were on good terms again, almost like they always had been. They never discussed what had happened in the parking lot or their feelings about each other but it wasn’t awkward.

Both of them were aware of their circumstances so they pretended that it wasn’t even something to discuss there at all.

They were apart for a few weeks until convention season started. During those times, they talked a lot on the phone and texted.

Lana stayed in Vancouver with Fred while Bex went back to Los Angeles.

Alfredo was a gentleman, as always. The brunette cared about him, of course. But the way she cared about him was more friendly than romantic.

He knew that something was wrong with their relationship but he didn’t want to push it. He was afraid to lose her otherwise. So, he left her time and space.

They weren’t living together, which in regular relationships may seem normal but with celebrities everyone knew that if after months of being together they weren’t spending the nights in the same house, something was wrong.

Ginny and Josh had moved in after three months together and they were already engaged by their half year ‘anniversary’.

But, of course, not everybody is like _The Charmings._ Lana knew that she was taking things too slow but there was still something in her that wouldn’t let her put more into that relationship.

She figured it was not the redhead, it couldn’t be. They were strictly platonic and she was doing her best to forget her, at least in a romantic way.

It couldn’t be Fred’s fault either because he was behaving her. He always makes sure that she’s comfortable with whatever they are doing.

So, it must be her own fault, she thought. She decided she needed to get over whatever stupid thing was holding her back and just live her life.

Little did she expected that Fred would asked her to move in with him that same night.

They had a romantic dinner in Lana’s apartment and they were already eating some dessert he had bought.

“I have to talk to you about something… It’s okay if you’re not ready, really. I don’t want to pressure you to do anything you don’t want… But I… I want you to move in with me.” He said calmly.

Lana’s eyes were wide open. She knew something like that would be coming soon, but she didn’t expect it to be this soon.

She honestly didn’t know what to answer him. She knew it would be easier, they were constantly driving to the other one’s house and they dated a lot.

And she liked it, she liked him too. But she still appreciated having a place where she could ho when she was tired of dealing with anyone or if she just needed some time alone to relax.

If he moved in with her she wouldn’t even have her own room for herself, because asking him to live in another room would really be weird.

She took a deep breath before answering.

“I… Can I… Can I think about it?” She paused for a second and then continued. “Look, Fred. Is not that I don’t want to… I just need some time to think about it and decide. Please understand me.” She told him gently while holding his hands.

“It’s okay Lana. I figured you would. Don’t worry.”

He was so understanding sometimes Lana hated him for it. It was just… _So easy._

* * *

 

Bex was having a great time in Los Angeles. At least compared to before. She loved her job but she needed to rest from time to time.

Then she realized that after August she would have a lot of time to rest because she didn’t have a job to get back to.

She went back to LA alone. Her family was in England so she was by herself. She decided to stay with some friends instead of going alone to her house.

She had tried her best to get over Lana because she didn’t want to ruin the best friendship she had.

But, _surprisingly,_ nothing had worked very well for that matter. So, she decided it was time for her to start dating again.

Luckily for her, there were a lot of gay bars in her city so she didn’t have to do a lot of research.

She was a bit scared that somebody would recognize her and make her come out publicly, but she wasn’t _that_ famous and she was in LA after all. Everybody was a bit famous and she could blend in very well.

Her friend knew she was a lesbian and they went with her to a few clubs. It was good, she had a great night in a few of them. But she never met anyone that made her want to get to know more about her. Anyone that was more than a one-night stand.

At least not until she met Alix.

It was funny how life worked. She went to so many gay clubs and nothing and then she found the woman she was looking for in a coffee shop a Sunday morning.

Every Sunday she would go to get her coffee fix at the same coffee shop at the exactly same hour. Just one day the coffee shop closed, they went on a break for the holidays. Bex couldn’t blame them, they were humans after all. But she needed her coffee more than she needed oxygen.

So, she decided to go to the first coffee shop she could find nearby.

There was one right in front of her friend’s apartment so she didn’t think about it twice.

It looked great, a bit chic, a bit hipsterly.

She ordered the same thing she always did to the waitress that went to her table.

The brunette that took her order smiled withholding a laugh when she heard the redhead’s request.

“Is something wrong? I can change something if you don’t have it… I’m just so used to order this sometimes I forget that is not the most common way to drink your coffee.” She said almost shy.

“No, sorry. It’s okay. It’s just… It’s exactly the same thing I always order and I’ve never met anyone else that drinks her coffee like that.”

“Oh… Yeah. I’ve never met anyone that drinks her coffee like that either… Before you I mean. If you ever want to go get some weird coffee with me, I’m free.” She said casually before realizing how that must have sounded by the small blush on the brunette’s face. “Oh, I didn’t mean it like in a date way… I mean, not that I wouldn’t date you. Okay, I’m not making a great job defending myself here, sorry.”

Surprisingly for Bex, the brunette laughed shyly.

“It’s okay. We could go for that coffee anytime. And I wouldn’t mind if it was a date either. My name is Alix, by the way.”

“Bex here.”

And after exchanging phone numbers and a few dates they started seeing each other.

The redhead liked her, a lot. She was great and it was the best relationship she had had in a long while.

She was supposed to be happy, and she was. But she still felt like nobody could ever make her feel like Lana did… But maybe that was okay. Maybe that was how life worked. Maybe you weren’t supposed to end up with the person you loved the most. It was messed up, but so was life.

 

* * *

 

The first convention of the season was about to start when Fred asked Lana to move in. When she told him she needed time to think, they both decided she would think about it during con season and come with a decision when she was back in Vancouver.

Their first convention was in San Diego so Bex decided to take Alix with her. Nobody knew they were dating, specially not the press, and she was not going to come out publicly soon. But she wanted her friend to meet her girlfriend and San Diego wasn’t that far from Los Angeles so she wouldn’t mind the trip.

They could pass as friend or even family if the press asked something about them so the redhead wasn’t too worried about that. Her main concern though, was a brunette she hadn’t seen in a while.

She didn’t know how the other woman would react to Alix. As far as she knew Lana wasn’t even aware that she was a lesbian. They never talk about it.

She tried to erase those thoughts from her head, after all, they were just friends. There was no reason Lana should mind that Bex is dating other people. The brunette herself was seeing a tall guy Rebecca resented a bit.

After arriving at the hotel in San Diego and checking in Bex texted the rest of the cast to know if they were there yet. Lana, Sean, Josh, Colin, Karen, Jaime and Jamie were going to that con. Apparently, Ginny wasn’t feeling great so she stayed home.

The guys, Jamie and Karen were still on the plane so only Lana and Jaime were there yet.

She didn’t know Jaime that well because she had only been there for a few episodes but she liked her, she was very funny and had played the Black Fairy as great as she could.

She decided it was her opportunity to introduce them to Alix so they met for coffee.

Bex said she was bringing someone with her but nobody asked who or what was that person to her.

A bit before lunch they met on the cafeteria of the hotel.

The redhead was half excited half nervous to meet her friend again and Alix misinterpreted it.

“Hey, don’t worry. For what I’ve heard they are both great with LGBTQ people, I don’t think they are gonna react bad or anything.” Her girlfriend told her comfortingly.

She took a deep breath before answering.

“Okay, let’s do this.” She said before giving the brunette a small kiss and leaving their hotel room.

Lana and Jaime were already there and seemed to be enjoying their coffee.

“Bex!!” Lana said as her eye caught ginger curls.

She got up and went to give the redhead a hug.

“Hi.” Rebecca said with a huge smile on her face when they broke the hug.

“How is everything? I missed you!” The brunette told her with a very sincere smile.

“Great… And you?” She didn’t elaborate much.

“Very well too.”

They sat down, Bex between Alix and Lana and Jaime in front of them.

“Uhm… This is Alix. My girlfriend.” The redhead tried to say casually but she was finding it hard to breath already.

“Hi! I’m Jaime.” The other woman said before giving Alix a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Lana was awfully quiet but with a smile on her face.

“Oh. Hi. I’m Lana.” She told Bex’s girlfriend before pulling her in a hug, imitating the other woman’s actions.

“I’m glad to finally meet you all. Bex told me a lot about you guys.”

“So, how long have you two been dating?” Jaime asked curious.

“Oh, just a couple of months.” Alix said gently.

“How did you meet?” Lana asked blankly.

“In a coffee shop near my apartment where she was working as a waitress. We realized we ordered the same coffee so we started talking and yeah… That was pretty much it.” Bex answered this time.

“Oh.” Lana said.

“That’s such a cute story!” Jaime added.

The coffee date with Lana and Jaime was not very long. The made some small talk and discussed about the rest of the conventions they had that summer and soon they said goodbye.

Lana had been very quiet the entire time. It was strange, specially seeing how excited she was when they saw each other for the first time in a while.

Maybe she didn’t like Alix… Or she was having a hard time with something from her life.

Bex decided that she should mind her own business and would only talk to her about it if she saw her down during the convention.

She shacked her head trying to forget about those thoughts and went back to her girlfriend.

* * *

 

Lana was still a bit in shock after the ‘big revelation’. She was definitely not expecting Bex to come there with a girlfriend.

She was happy for her friend, she should be at least. But it still hurt a bit to see her moving on, if that was even the right word, because they really never had anything to move on from in the first place.

She didn’t _hate_ Alix. It was just something in her she didn’t quite like. She had to stop the urge to roll her eyes when she had to witness the two women making eyes at each other when they ordered the same coffee, just like in their story.

She was annoyed. She couldn’t help it. And she was hating herself for it. She should be happy. Bex had never looked happier. And it was probably thanks to that woman she called her girlfriend.

So, Lana decided to stop obsessing over those things and just move on already. It wasn’t good for neither of them to act like this. She felt like she was losing a friend, and much more with it.

Holding back the tears that were threatening to fell down her cheeks she took out her phone and dialed a number she was already memorizing.

“Fred I… I think we should move in together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the angst, again.   
> Next chapter on Monday.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well well, we are on the finish line already. I hope you enjoy it!!

They had arrived in San Diego a Thursday morning. They had an interview on Friday and the convention was during the weekend.

Lana had gone back to acting normal around Bex -if you could call their relationship normal-. The redhead was relieved and didn’t talk to the other woman about those weird moments she had when she introduced Alix to them.

When the rest of the cast arrived too Rebecca wanted them to meet her girlfriend too. They all loved her and nobody found anything strange about her dating a woman.

She was happy because the last thing she wanted to do was explain something like this to others. It was not because she was not ready, because she had overcome that phase of her life a really long time ago, it was just annoying to be put in that situation.

But her friends were great and Alix looked happy the first day.

So it was a big surprise for Bex when she came back to their room after Saturday’s panel to find Alix packing her bags.

“What... What’s going on?” The redhead asked confused.

“Bex… I can’t do this… I… I can’t.”

“What are you talking about? Are you leaving?”

“Just tell me one thing and please, don’t lie to me.” Alix said before pausing for a second. “Is she _her?_ Is Lana that woman you _loved_ so much?”

“Alix… Is not what you think.”

“So it is her.”

“Look… There may have been something there once, but it’s not anymore. I care about you so much Alix. I don’t want to lose you because of something that is not and never will be happening.”

“I’m not blind. I saw the look on her face when you told her I was your girlfriend. She looked devastated Bex. She _loves_ you. She does. And I’ve never seen you happier than when you’re with her. You’ve spend the whole weekend looking at her with a look that took me a while to figure out. But now I know. It’s pain. I know it hurts you not being with her. I do.”

Bex couldn’t keep her tears in. She was silently sobbing already.

“I don’t want to lose you Alix.”

“And you won’t. I love you Bex. But I know you don’t love me. And I don’t want to do that to myself, or you. Seen you with her like that was too much, we’ll never have that, I know it. And that’s okay. But I don’t want to be the reason you’re not with the person you love.”

“Don’t go, please.” Bex begged her.

“I have to. I love you Bex.” She told the redhead before kissing her cheek gently and leaving the room.

And Rebecca just stood there. Staring at the now closed door. Thinking about all the way she had lost every person she cared about.

* * *

 

The cast was having dinner together and Lana couldn’t not notice that Bex wasn’t there.

She had said she was coming but she was nowhere to be found.

Karen was sitting next to Lana so she asked her.

“Hey, have you seen Bex? She was supposed to be here.”

“Uhm… Is none of my business but I think she’s not coming… I think Alix and her broke up or something. I don’t know. You should check on her. I saw Alix leaving with her suitcase and she didn’t look very well.” Karen told the brunette a bit shy.

“When was this?” Lana asked surprised.

“Like an hour ago I think.”

Lana was worried about Bex.

“You’re right. I should go check on her.” The brunette said before leaving the restaurant.

 

* * *

 

Less than half an hour later Lana was knocking on the redhead’s door.

A few knocks later the door was still closed.

“Bex. I know you’re in there. It’s me, Lana.” She said leaning in on the door.

She heard some steps but the door still didn’t open.

“Please, open up. I just wanna make sure you’re okay.” She said gently.

And the door finally opened after a few seconds.

Rebecca had red puffy eyes. She looked like she had been crying for a while and she was still on her pajamas.

“Oh, Bex.” Lana said before pulling her into a hug.

The redhead broke down and crying in her arms for a while.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Lana asked her softly after she calmed down a bit.

“No… Please, not now.”

“You haven’t eaten a thing, have you?”

“Uhm… No. I wasn’t in the mood to go to that dinner, sorry.”

“Don’t be. Let’s order some pizza, okay?”

Lana was going to get her phone from the table she had left it at when Bex took her by the wrist gently.

“Thank you, for everything.”

* * *

 

The next day Bex looked happier although she was still a bit down.

The convention went great. The panels weren’t too demanding but the photos and autographs had them exhausted.

On Monday, they had to go back to Vancouver to give some interviews that would be aired with the finale so they didn’t have to say goodbye.

But, in that same city Lana had to face a rushed decision she had made without even thinking how much impact that could have in her life.

Fred wanted to have dinner with her the day she came so he went to her house that night.

They were having dinner and Lana was awfully quiet.

“And we can start looking for some apartments if you want, even if we don’t move in until you’re back on set agai-.” He kept talking until she interrupted him.

“I can’t do this Fred.” She said tired.

“It’s okay. We can stay in mine or yours then. We don’t have to look for a new home.” He said understanding.

“I mean this, us. I can’t. I’m so sorry Fred. You deserve someone better. I don’t want to hurt you too. But I don’t want this. I can’t live a life I don’t want. It’s not fair for either of us.”

“Wha… Where is this coming from Lana? A few days ago you were telling me you want to move in with me and now what? We are breaking up? Or what is this supposed to be?” He said a bit angry.

“I shouldn’t have done that. I know. It was not fair to you. But I made a rushed decision I regret and I’m sorry. But I don’t want this Fred.”

“Did you _ever_ want this? ‘Cause I think you never did.” He said really pissed before leaving her house before she could even add something else.

* * *

 

It was 2 am and Lana's phone suddenly rang. She definitely should change that annoying ringtone. She didn't even boder to check who was calling and answered it.

"Who is this??" she asked pretty annoyed.

"It's me Lana, Bex."

When she heard the redhead's voice she got even more confused.

"It's 2 am Bex, what’s going on?" she said, more gently than she would have if it weren't her friend.

"I... I went to this pub... with some friends and I think I'm too drunk to drive but I lost my purse anyway... so I don't have money to pay a cab..."

She could barely speak correctly so the brunette guessed she actually was too drunk.

"Where are you? I'm coming to pick you up. Just... Stay there and don't get in trouble."

Bex told her the address of the pub she was at and Lana dressed up and took her car keys as fast as she could.

A few minutes later she was already there. The pub was close to her apartment.

After looking for a while for the redhead she finally spotted her. She was sitting on the ground next to the entrance. She looked tired and drunk.

She how a look on her face -it was more than the alcohol- like she was lost in herself somehow.

Even though the circumstances she looked beautiful like that. The moon light was caressing her left cheek and some curls were covering the other.

Lana only realized how long she had been staring at her when the redhead finally started acknowledging the rest of the world and stared back at her.

"Bex. C'mon. Let's get you home." she told her as she helped her get up.

"Lana. I think someone stole my purse. Maybe I just lost it, I don't know. But I don't have my keys anymore." The redhead said concerned.

"It's okay. Don't worry. You'll stay at my place tonight and tomorrow we'll call the police okay?"

"You're my savior you know?” Bex told her.

“Just don’t throw up on my car, please.”

Bex just rolled her eyes as a response.

It was 2:30 am but Lana was smiling a bit. Bex wasn’t the kind of person that got drunk regularly and made a scene so Lana didn’t mind helping her when she needed it. She had also had her bad days and the redhead had always been there for her.

And after the day she had and the break up she needed a rest from people that would made her anxious with a lot of questions she probably wouldn’t even know how to answer. She was already imagining Ginny’s face while hearing the news.

The ride to Lana’s apartment was pretty calm. They were both in silence, enjoying the view. At least Lana was. Bex was almost snoring.

Lana was thinking about how cute was Bex when she was sleeping.

When they arrived the brunette had to wake her up.

“Hey, Bex. We are here. Wake up.” Lana told her gently.

“Mmmm… I think I’ll just sleep here.”

“Beex. Please. We have to get up early tomorrow. We have that interview we’re here for, remember?.”

As soon as she heard Lana’s words she immediately stood up.

“What?! No!” she said confused.

“Yes. So let’s go.”

The brunette finally managed to get Bex to the apartment. She got her to the guest room and help her get in bed.

“Do you want some pajamas?” Lana asked her.

“It’s okay. If you just help me take this off.”

She was wearing some black jeans and a t-shirt.

Lana helped her take the shoes off.

Just as she finished doing that the redhead took her t-shirt off. She was wearing a black lacy bra.

Lana was staring at her even before she realized it. She turned around and was about to leave the room when Bex noticed it.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m getting you a glass of water and an aspirin. You’ll thank me tomorrow.”

When she came back with the water and the aspirin the redhead was already in bed but she was still awake.

“Thank you. For everything.”

Lana sat down on the bed close to her. Bex was sitting too because she was drinking the glass of water.

“What happened Bex? Is this about Al-.”

Bex interrupted her.

“Is not. Really. I just needed to get out and forget about everything for one night but… Nothing worked out. What a shock.”

“Things will get better, I promise.”

“I’m sorry I woke you at this hours. You must be tired. God, it’s true. Fred is here now, isn’t he? Did I wake him up too?” She asked lowering her voice.

“No… Fred and I… We… We broke up.”

She knew the redhead would find out anyway sooner or later so there was no point in hiding it.

“I’m sorry Lana. Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’m okay… I’m… I feel free… I don’t know. I guess he wasn’t the right _person_ for me, or me for him, who knows.”

Bex put one of her hands in the brunette’s cheek and caressed it. Lana closed her eyes when she felt the touch of the other woman’s skin against her own.

“I don’t want to see you get hurt.” The redhead told her softly.

“I’m not. I didn’t… I didn’t love him Bex.” She admitted.

“Then why were you moving in with him?”

It wasn’t meant as an accusation and Lana knew it so she answered gently.

“Maybe because it was the easier thing, I don’t know.” She said after opening her eyes, now staring at Rebecca’s lips.

The redhead leaned in but didn’t do anything before Lana herself leaned in too and pressed her lips against Bex’s.

It was soft and caring but with an urge of more she had never had with anyone although it still reminded the brunette of somethin-. Lana’s thoughts made her break the kiss instantly.

“We… We kissed.” She said as a realization.

“I would say so, yes.” Bex said almost laughing at the absurdity of the conversation.

“Not now… That night. We kissed that night. I… I just remembered.”

“Yes… We did.” She said almost sad.

“Why didn’t you tell me anything?” Lana asked her curious.

“I… We were drunk and I didn’t know how much any of that meant to you so I thought it was for the best…”

Lana was almost in tears now. Funny thing how our body works, she thought. She hadn’t let out a single tear when Fred left and now… She was about to cry with just a few words and a kiss.

“I’m so sorry Bex. I never meant to hurt you. I-.” She was going to keep talking but she just couldn’t keep going.

“Don’t cry. It’s okay.” The redhead told her before cleaning the few tears that were coming down Lana’s cheeks. “We are both here now.”

And they kissed again. Now both of them more confident than before.

Lana was the one that broke the kiss, again. But for different reasons and more gently now.

“You are still very drunk. We should go to sleep and talk in the morning, when we’ll both remember everything for sure.” She said with a smile on her face before getting up.

When she was about to leave the room, the redhead stopped her.

“Wait. Can you stay here? Just to sleep. But stay here with me, please.” Bex asked her almost shy.

The brunette turned around and got in bed with the other woman.

“C’mon. We should get some sleep, tomorrow we have a big day.” She said before putting her arm around Bex’s waist.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me your thoughts on the comment section and on Wednesday I'll publish the last chapter!  
> But don't be sad... I'm already working on a new bexana fanfic.


	8. Chapter 8

Lana’s alarm clock had taken off around 8 am. Way too early for anyone. But they had an interview that same morning so they had to, it was not optional.

When she opened her eyes, she realized she wasn’t in her own bedroom but soon enough she recognized the ceiling of the guest room and, of course, the redhead snuggled up next to her.

She smiled with that realization. She wasn’t much of a cuddler but when it was about Bex she enjoyed it a lot.

The other woman still smelled like her usual perfume and Lana was laying her head over her ginger curls.

She knew she could stay there forever if it was up to her but they had to start eating breakfast at least.

Rebecca was sleeping too profoundly so she placed a kiss on her temple and went to the kitchen to make some breakfast.

 

* * *

 

When the redhead opened her eyes the first thing she noticed was the clock. It was 8:23 am.

She groaned a bit. She hated mornings more than almost anything.

Although she was even more upset to find out she was alone again. When she rolled on her back she realized the other side of the bed was empty.

Lana probably went back to her bedroom after she fell asleep, Bex thought.

She was disappointed but not surprised. After all Lana just broke up with her boyfriend and Bex was still in a relationship a few days ago. Maybe it was too much for them.

Rebecca got out of the bed and went straight to the kitchen. She _needed_ her coffee fix.

When she came in she saw a brunette humming while making pancakes. But the thing that caught even more her attention was the oversized pepsi t-shirt she was wearing. The only thing she was wearing, actually.

“Good morning! I didn’t want to wake you before I even had coffee and food to offer you so I was making breakfast.” The other woman told her with a smile on her face.

Bex smiled back and bit her lip. This was all too good to be true.

She went to Lana and grabbed her by the waist from behind.

“Good morning to you too.” She whispered in her ear.

“There’s your coffee.”

“Mmm… I’ll get to that now… I love your outfit, by the way. I see you remembered more than the kiss from that night.” Bex said with a smirk on her face.

“Well… It reminded me of you. God, now I’m becoming cheesy. Go drink your coffee, you’re destroying me.”

“I just need something before.” She said before facing the brunette and giving her a slow, sweet kiss.

* * *

 

They went to that interview with the rest of the cast together. They were best friends so nobody would find it weird that they came there together.

The interviews were great, nothing too personal, nothing too hard to answer, the typical questions basically.

They were both happy because they were reunited with the whole cast too. But they couldn’t show too much affection in public so they were controlling themselves.

After that they went back to the brunette’s apartment. They needed to talk and they had been avoiding it.

They couldn’t pretend all the things that had happened the last few months didn’t exist so they had to address it all.

They were already in Lana’s living room and it was awfully quiet. Suddenly, they both broke the silence at the same time so they didn’t understand a thing of what the other one was about to say.

“You should start first.” Bex said a bit shy.

“Okay…” The brunette took a deep breath before continuing. “I have no idea where to start… Really. Maybe with Fred? Uhm. Look. I… I never felt anything for him. And I know I hurt you, I even knew it then. I just thought it would be better if I was seeing someone. I couldn’t put a name on what was going on between you and me back then, but I knew something was there.”

“It’s okay Lana… I know you never meant to hurt me. And I… I was happy for you. I thought you were happy with him so I never told you anything…”

“I wasn’t miserable but I wasn’t happy either. I guess I tried to replace you somehow and it backfired a lot. I kept comparing him to you in my mind and he never rise to the challenge.” Lana said with a sad smile on her face.

“I missed you a lot those months that we were apart. And I never meant to hurt you with Alix. When I went back to Los Angeles I tried to find someone to fill what I thought it was a void. And I didn’t succeed. There were some women, but nothing meaningful, not more than a one-night stand or a date… So when I met Alix, so unexpectedly, and we clicked from the start, I thought that was my chance to find someone that made me feel like you did… But even though I cared about her a lot, I still do, she never accomplished that…”

“When I saw you with her in San Diego I felt so many things… I was happy for you, I really was. But I wished so hard I could be here in that moment. To be able to do all those little things with you… And the big ones too. You were so brave. I was so proud of you. That you just went there and came out, I wouldn’t have been able to do that.”

“Alix left because of us.” Bex finally confessed.

“What? Because of you and me?” Lana asked confused.

“Yeah… She saw us together for two days basically and she realized everything that was going on between us. But she wasn’t mad… She wanted me to be happy too… But my point is, she didn’t even know you and just saw us together for a few days and was aware of everything… It was strange hearing everything from another person’s mouth but she saw more than I could even see…”

“Do you miss her?”

“Well… She was a good friend after all. Maybe I don’t feel much romantically for her, but I cared about her a lot.”

“Wow. I never expected this to be so overwhelming… I mean, talking about all of this. Not that I don’t appreciate it, I’m so glad we talked about all of this… But I’m happy we’re done…”

“There’s just one thing left I guess…”

“What?” Lana asked curious.

“I would like to take you on a proper date. Just you and me, with everything planned, knowing what to expect, more or less… So, would you go on a date with me, Lana María Parrilla?”

“I’d love to.” She answered with a sincere and warm smile on her face.

 

* * *

 

After all that time lost they weren’t patient enough to wait any longer so they decided to go on a date that same night.

Bex was picking Lana up around 8 pm and taking her somewhere. Lana didn’t know much because the redhead didn’t want to spoil anything.

When she asked Rebecca what should she wear the other woman told her ‘anything’, so she had no idea how she should dress, mostly because she had no idea where they were going.

She decided to go for a black basic dress. She could see what Bex was wearing when she came to pick her up and choose a jacket, a denim jacket to make it casual or a blazer to make it look more elegant.

She smiled at herself in the mirror for her intelligence and put on red lipstick.

When she was about to finish curling her hair someone knocked on her door.

As she opened it she was impressed by the other woman. She was wearing some tight black jeans and a green shirt and she looked gorgeous, as always.

Lana was just standing there staring at Bex.

“Hi. Are you ready?” Rebecca asked.

“Uhm… Just one sec.”

Lana went quickly to her room to get her denim jacket. Bex was not wearing too casual clothes but she wasn’t wearing anything too elegant either.

A few moments later the brunette was ready and they left the apartment. Bex was driving to the unknown location where they were having dinner.

“So, can I know now where’re going?”

“No no, not yet. You’ll see when we get there.”

“Ugh, okay.”

* * *

 

Not too much later Bex parked in a parking lot.

They got out of the car and Lana was a bit confused. There weren’t any restaurants nearby.

“I thought we could walk a few minutes, it’s not too far and the night looks great.” Bex told her.

And indeed, it was.

They were both silent but it wasn’t awkward, it was very comfortable. Their hands kept bumping into each other because they were walking very close.

Lana decided to take the lead and took the other woman’s hand and intertwined their fingers.

Bex was a bit surprised but after a few seconds she relaxed again. Soon after that she decided to break the silence.

“Do you remember that night I was walking Bella on set and you came to talk to me and then asked me for a coffee?” The redhead asked her curious.

“Of course I do… I’m pretty sure that was the night I fell in love with you. God, I’m cheesy again.” She said a bit shy.

“Wh… Really? When you asked me to get coffee with you I spent like a week wondering if that was supposed to be a date or not. I couldn’t tell if you were straight or not.” Bex said almost laughing.

“I don’t know. I think deep down I wanted to ask you on a date but couldn’t finish to put everything together and I didn’t know what you were looking for either so I was just glad that you wanted to see me more.”

“Yeah. You called me like 5 minutes after I gave you my number. I thought it was cute.”

“I remember how beautiful you looked that night. The moonlight looks great on you.”

“Oh, really?”

“Really.”

They faced each other and Lana’s arms hugged the redhead’s waist and pulled her closer.

Bex’s hand automatically went to the brunette’s face. Even if she was getting used to this her body and mind both went crazy every single time their skin touched.

Lana relaxed under her touch and leaned in. Their lips met and they forgot about everything else but themselves for a while.

When they broke the kiss and they kept walking towards their dinner place Bex started talking.

“Do I still get to kiss the girl after the date or this is it for me?”

“We’ll see.”

After a few more minutes walking Bex suddenly stopped.

“Are we lost?” Lana asked confused.

“Uhm. No. We’re here. C’mon.”

And the restaurant they had been looking for was actually a burger.

“What?” Lana tried to hide the huge smile on her face but just couldn’t.

“Well… I know you like burgers and I thought it would be cozier…”

“I do love burgers.” Lana said happy.

She wasn’t expecting such a casual date, but it was true she sometimes felt overwhelmed in fancy restaurants filled with people, most of them pretending they were happy and with really tiny plates of food.

She was amazed that Bex knew her that well and cared so much about how she felt.

It was their first official date but it felt so familiar and normal anyone could have sworn they had been married for years.

Their date went great. It was everything she would have wanted. They smiled, they laughed, they shared stories. She was with her best friend and also with the only person that could make her feel like the rest of the world meant nothing in a matter of seconds.

They were about to leave so Bex asked for the check. Lana was taking out her wallet when the redhead stopped her.

“It’s on me. You can invite me on our next date.”

“So you assume there will be a second date?” Lana told her smirking.

“It wasn’t that bad wasn’t it?”

“No, it wasn’t.” The brunette said laughing.

Bex drove Lana home and walked her to the door.

“So, do I get to kiss the girl after all?”

“No, but you get to kiss the woman.” Lana said while pulling her closer grabbing her jacket.

They both leaned in but Lana was the one to start the kiss. It was as passionate as always but still gentle and caring.

Bex broke the kiss and she was about to leave.

“I’ll see you… Tomorrow?” The redhead asked while she was already leaving.

“Bex, wait. Stay, please.”

“Lana, I want to, believe me, I do. But… We still have some things to figure out…”

“We’ll cross those bridges when we get to them... Together.” Lana said confident while pulling the other woman in.

“What would I do without you?”

“I don’t know. Good thing we don’t have to find out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is it guys. I loved writing this fanfic. But it had to end eventually. Right now I'm working on another Bexana fanfic and I'll post the first chapter on Friday, so stay tuned!  
> Kudos and comments are highly appreciated.  
> Also, if you want to support me you can do it through my ko-fi page, it would mean the world to me! https://ko-fi.com/J3J47QI7


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